September 18, 2024
Sohini R. Chaudhuri
India
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SUMMARY
For the past several months, a new trend has emerged on social media platforms. It is called “trad wife” or “mum-fluencer”. Social media influencers who are mothers and have affluent backgrounds popularly represent the trend. They often use their dream kitchen, supremely spotless with extravagant cooking equipment and kitchen gadgets, as the backdrop and give tips to mothers on how to become perfect. They seem to come straight out of Hollywood movies. Although their hairdo, makeup and dresses are carefully crafted, they advise women to spend their lives doing all the household chores, cooking, washing and rearing children with a pretty smile on their face - “Anger causes fine lines and wrinkles faster!” In my article I address its harmfully fake aspects and how they are detrimental to the viewers.
BACKGROUND
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The trend of “trad wives” on social media:
For the past few years, popularly used social media platforms have been witnessing the emerging trend of “trad wives” or “mum-fluencers”. A large number of influencers followed the trend across the globe and made it widely known. But popular newspapers worldwide reported growing concerns about its harmful effects on the mental health of women. In this article, I explore the meaning and concept of the trend and discuss its positive and negative impact on women.
Last month, reporter Helen Bruce wrote in the Irish Central, “A social media trend encouraging women to return to homemaking gender roles as ‘trad wives’ is undermining decades of progress and harming women, an Irish mental health charity has warned.” In another leading newspaper, The Independent, reporter Caroline Boyd wrote, “According to new data published in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media Research, mum-fluencers not only increase anxiety and envy among new mums, the image they project of picture-perfect parenthood can even lead some question their role as mothers and their ability to bring up a baby.”
To understand the growing anxiety and mental pressure exerted by this new trend more clearly, we need to understand the concept.
Who is a trad wife?
Trad wife is the short form for traditional wife. Is it different from a housewife or stay at home mom? Yes it is - a trad wife is someone who has the superpower of perfection. Everything she does is prim, proper and pretty. With her blow dried and styled hair-do, extravagant makeup, branded or designer dresses which they never repeat, high end merchandise, high tech gadgets, dainty household products, spotless picture perfect kitchen, a trad wife advocates for women who choose to stay at home and takes care of her children and husband. They are also widely called “mum-fluencers” - short for moms who are social media influencers. The concept seems to be inspiring to millions of viewers who follow the social media channels of these famous “trad wives”. But in reality it is problematic. On one hand, they encourage women not to go out and invest their time and energy on doing household chores, on the other hand, they themselves earn millions of dollars from their social media posts and videos in a systematic way with a full team of videographers, editors and social media managers! They are doing a lot more harm than good according to recent survey reports. Let us read a couple of case studies to understand how adversely trad wives are impacting us.
How are women getting harmfully impacted by trad wives?
Let us read about Odudu, a 41 years old mother who has just given birth to a boy:
“I follow several trad wife influencers for child rearing tips and guidance. One of my favorites is Hannah who is a successful model and also gave birth to 8 children. As a new mother, I find it extremely difficult to take care of myself, suffering from post pregnancy complications, feeding and holding my baby as well as doing the household chores. For dinner I depend on store bought food. Although my husband does not complain, I feel so guilty. There are days when I do not even find time to comb my hair or water the plants. But when I look at Hannah, she is so perfect! With her glass skin, bouncy hair and slim figure, she cooks for her eight children and husband with a smile on her face. If they want to have a pizza, she makes it from scratch with all the freshly harvested ingredients! I know I am doing my best but I feel that’s not enough to give a perfect life to my child and husband. I spend sleepless nights under the burden of mental pressure.”
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Another woman, Reza, a 37 year old single mother has three children. She works as a security service provider at a shopping mall. Let us hear from her:
“For the past three years I have been working very hard to give my children a good life. There are days when I do not find time to clean the house and cook and buy them simple fruits, bread, jam etc. for their school lunch. When I see the social media influencers who are trad wives I feel very angry with myself. I feel like I am not a good mom. I am becoming short tempered and getting easily irritated.”
The illusion of perfection:
An objective analysis of this social media trend shows how unreal and fake is the concept of being a perfect traditional wife. It not only creates unnecessary pressure on women to become nicer and prettier but also sets unnatural goals for them to do all the household chores with a smile on their face and remain decked up in fancy makeup and dresses. Every woman is uniquely different and has diverse needs. Not all women, hailing from different socio-economic and cultural backgrounds, suffer from similar mental and physical health complications during and post pregnancy owing to many factors. Thus the process of navigating through the challenges of the journey of motherhood should never be dictated or imitated. Comment below and tell me what you think.
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